Thursday, December 11, 2008

I Take A Nearly Lethal Dose Of Ritalin Every Day And I Have To Admit This Guy Is King Of All ADD Patients!!!


If ever there was a case of it taking one to know one this is it. So there's this guy who's nearly 60 and he's a junk collector in North Carolina. Dude has a simple dream, one he's been pursuing for a while now. He's got these Christmas trees that he's been growing. He wants to string lights on them. Six hundred and fifty thousand lights to be exact. So far the story seems kind of ordinary. Lots of people dream of having the biggest something or other. Especially around the holidays. Many fine individuals go over the deep end decorating without accusations of being hyperactive. Stu Ellis is no mere decorator. He wants to finance this operation by short selling the stock market which by his estimate should see the DJIA listing around 500 by next year. A year ago you would have thought he was crazy to say that out loud. Today it seems perfectly plausible. Still no ADHD there. This is the kind of thing that you can't make up. He's going to finance his private equity fund by selling one of the 7 wonders of the modern science fiction world. It turns out that he's got a very significant movie prop hanging on a string in his garage. He's going to sell the model space ship from Forbidden Planet which was just about the greatest Science Fiction movie of all time. OK still no Attention Deficit Disorder here. He's cashing in on some luck in the collectables market. What makes this the perfect storm of ADD is that his mother had to remind him to take a look around his house for something valuable that he could sell. It's like me with the closet doors. Some of you may remember I have to take them off the hinges or else I forget I have clothes.

As for Forbidden Planet, it is probably the most optimistic expression of art ever created. It's loosely based on Shakespeare's The Tempest and blessed with all the cheerful sensibility that 1950's America could handle. The plot is borrowed from Elizabethan theater and the underlying theme remains that of the horrors that mankind may bring upon our self if suddenly our dreams become real. It explores the moral that perhaps some dreams should not come true.

Perhaps like dreaming that you'll bring down all of Wall Street so that you can generate enough light pollution in your backyard that space aliens will want to land at your house and then getting your mom to help you bring that dream to reality.

That man's a fucking genius. All I have to show for my ADD is this blog and some late homework.

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