Google Can Munch On A Bowl Of My Nuts!

Some folks might be wondering what happened to the advertisements on this website. Of the 8 dollars that the site earned Google paid me a grand total of fuck all. They cancelled my AdSense account about a day before they were supposed to issue a check for close to two bucks for the first month’s revenue. I never received a check. I also haven’t received a check for the six dollars for the portion of March my account survived. Fuck them.

It’s too bad, I was planning on using the AdSense revenues not to buy Ritalin but to fund advertising in AdWords and begin to build a readership. I started an AdWords account but didn’t complete payment details. I really wanted the AdSense funds to finance new AdWord driven hits to this site. Nothing fuels my ego more then my Wednesday click counter of about 80 unique hits and 100 total hits. I don’t think I know 90+ people. So at least once a week folks who stumbled into my site for whatever reason return for a dose of my witticisms and criticisms. Welcome. Feel free to say “Hi” or tell me how awesome I am. You can even tell me I’m full of shit. Really any feedback is better then no feedback at all. (Now I know how my high school History and English teachers felt. “Bueller? Bueller?)

So what did happen? I have no fucking clue. Supposedly there was an email explaining it. I never got it. Maybe my spam filter killed it. I found out my account was suspended when I tried to log in after I noticed ads stopped feeding into the site. The only message was that my account no longer exists. I sent three messages begging to find out what happened. I never got a proper response.

After careful skimming of the terms of service there were three points that I admit I was doing. I did have a notice on the site joking about how the ads were paying for my Ritalin. That could have loosely been interpreted as a request for clicks. I was also writing posts that featured high paying AdSense terms. However I felt that they were organic to the flow of editorial content, even when I was dropping them in as a joke. There are far more egregious websites on the net which violate this policy that continue to feed Google AdSense advertisments to this day. Fuck 'em if they can’t take a joke.

The other thing I did which may well be the real reason I was banned was I clicked on the advertisements. Mind you, I didn’t sit here clicking on ads to generate hits. I clicked on the ads because this is my fucking Blog. I have a god damned right to know who is advertising here. I want to know what products are linking to my clever wordsmithing. So if I clicked on an ad it was to check out who I was doing fucking business with.

Oh yeah. I also swear like Tim Roth in a Quentin Tarrentino movie. There's someting vague about profanity in the TOS as well. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

I never did get a response why I was dropped.
It turns out that I’m not alone in this.

As for Google. About two days after the AdSense account was killed I got this email for my AdWords account. My reply follows.

From: adwords-support@google.com
To: dean
Cc:
Subject: Activating Your Google AdWords Account

Hello,

We noticed that you haven't started running your AdWords ads. You are just minutes away from showing your ads on Google in front of targeted online users. To start receiving qualified leads from Google, all you have to do now is activate your account by following these steps:

1. Log in to your AdWords account at http://services.google.com/marketing/links/us-awalogin using your email address and password.

2. Click on 'My Account,' 'Billing Preferences,' and submit your billing information to activate your account and start advertising with Google.

To learn more about AdWords, please visit AdWords Support at http://services.google.com/marketing/links/us-awasupport or respond to this email directly. We look forward to providing you with the most effective advertising available.

Sincerely,
The Google AdWords Team

And my reply.

I don't think I want to activate an adwords account since Google banned me from adsense without a clear explanation why. I received this email just fine but did not receive the email with the reason for terminating my account. I have requested clarification twice since but have had no success. You're quick to take my money but I find your paying out is another story.

You can go fuck yourselves.

Dean

Anyway, that's not even what bothers me about all of this. When I was feeding Google advertisements my blog would appear at the top of the list when people did a Google search for certain general phrases. Now that I'm no longer partnering with Google, web searches for terms specific to just this site fail to produce a single hit back here. Remember when I said "Cape Cod can munch on a bowl of my nuts"?

Look for Yahoo Pay Per Click sponsorship in the near future.