Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I Can't Help Myself

Alright, even though I haven't seen or even heard about most of these I have a blog and dammit my opinion is important. Here are my Oscar picks. And may god have mercy on our souls.

BP Little Miss Sunshine: even the commercials for this make me feel good about myself.

Actor Peter O'Toole: the Academy needs to apologise for insinuating that his career was over with that lifetime achievement award he didn't want to accept for fear of admitting his career was over and he was about to die. How fucking wrong they were. Anyway he should have gotten something for "Troy" he made that epic picture about an epic seem even bigger when he was on the screen. That man pisses more class then I'll ever be. I guess I have a new mancrush of the week.

Actress Helen Mirrin: really I'm guessing blind here. Monkeys throwing poo at 8x10 glossies hanging in Ari Emanuel's office would probably be more accurate.

Supporting Actor Alan Arkin: This is a tough one. Eddie Murphy will get his Academy Award right after Jim Carey gets his. As much as I truly like the Wahlberg family (I'm 1 degree of separation away) and I love the idea of a Funky Bunch renaissance I have to go with AA on this one. The man is due. Anyway, Donny is a better actor.

Supporting Actress Cate Blanchett: Admit it, she's the only one of them we've ever heard about.

Director This is a tough call. As much as everyone wants to see Martin Scorsese finally win one you just know at the last minute it will go to Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu. Then Marty will go snort blow off of Susan Luci's naked ass in the back of the Vanity Faire party.

Foreign Language Film Who the fuck cares?

Adapted Screenplay As badly as I want it to go to Borat you know "Children of Men" is going to get something and since it's not going home with the big banana it will get this.

Original Screenplay You know what? There are entirely too much self congradulatory masturbation exercises in Hollywood. Whatever movie is about gay penguins is going to win. I'm sick of this shit already.

I have nothing to say about the state of the union address except to say it's no small coincidence that the SOTU and the Academy Award Nominations came out on the same day.

Enjoy the Republic.


Blogger RicketyFunk said...

I have a friend who calls the "Oscars" her "Superbowl".

"Increase the DOLE!!!"

Jan 24, 2007, 1:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

The foreign film comment is over-the-top. LJSC, valentine's day must be painful with this kind of attitude on your man!

Little Miss Sunshine rocks! Love, Love, Love it.

I also liked the independant film, Ira and Abby which doesn't have a distributor yet. It's by the actress and writer who did Kissing Jessica Stein and it is the story of AG's Jewish life!

Jan 25, 2007, 2:50:00 PM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

LMS probably won't win anything except my admiration. Maybe Arkin will squeek by, though. Love the guy but he's been better.

Helen Mirren as the Queen was great and she deserves to - and will - win.

I don't really care though. I've no dogs in this fight. And no TV to see the results anyway...

Jan 25, 2007, 4:18:00 PM  

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