Saturday, July 29, 2006

Boobies

Back when I was bartending, as is usual in the restaurant business, I would have to take some slow shifts if I wanted the good weekend nights. One of them would be monday lunch which turned out to, on somedays, be better then a Saturday night. Tips could be up there if it was a nice day out. Lots of housewives getting together to one up each other on how busy they are for 2 and a half hours. Nearly every shift one of the housewives would bring in a stroller. In house wife land, in the upscale town of Marblehead, babies are the ultimate accessory. Many waiters (I would be the only floor staff for the shift and have to cover the tables too) and waitresses cringe when a woman pushes in a stroller, much like this guy does. I don't cringe or bum out. I know what's coming next. I know my day is about to brighten. You see at some point during lunch that baby is going to be fed. Not with a bottle, with a full on breast and the formerly bored housewife turned new mommie will make sure that everyone sees how fabulous her tits have become.

I'm not some creepy leering waiter but I know a show when I see it. I never got tired of it. Call me a libertarian but I'm not offended by a womans breasts. Usually they don't need a hungry baby as an excuse for me to look. I'll look if you ask me to look. You don't even have to ask nicely. In any event, it is good for the baby and that's ultimately what's important. So I say go ahead and breast feed. Some of us aren't more uptight then a Baptist Muslum.

27 Comments:

Blogger Dean ASC said...

Women who aren't covering their chest and baby with a baby blanket are in fact putting on a show when there are blankets right there in the stroller which they just pulled their damn crotch goblin out of.

Jul 27, 2006, 9:05:00 PM  
Blogger Origami Yoda said...

If breasts weren't supossed to be stared at then why do they stick out so much? I wish we had topless beaches; I shouldn't have to cover these.

Jul 27, 2006, 9:29:00 PM  
Anonymous PaulMc said...

I've said this more times than I can count, but --

The U.S. seriously has problem with sex. I mean, what's a boob? People will have a cow over a naked breast - even in the context of breast feeding! - but hey, show all the violence and blood on those crime shows that you want.

Violence healthy! Sex bad!

Jul 28, 2006, 8:59:00 AM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

I agree. Those really should be let out once and a while.

Hopefully next time the American Zeitgeist shifts and it will shift we will get to see full on boobies everywhere.

Jul 28, 2006, 9:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

I don't care what people do, but I don't want to know about some guy enjoying -- aka -- Dean's post.
They aren't sexual when they are being used for feeding, Dean.

Just sayin'

:)

Jul 28, 2006, 1:46:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

At what point do I say it's a sexual thing. I saw boobies. I may like boobies but I know the difference between when they're pointing at me to turn me on or simply pointing at me. Either way they're nice. Don't project your hangups onto me.

Jul 28, 2006, 2:43:00 PM  
Anonymous lisajsc said...

Why is it ok for men with man boobs to go around topless and women cannot. A breast is just flesh, fat and muscle which makes up every other part of the human body. I think the "muffin top" is much more offensive than a naked breast. I do not care how thin a girl is. If the low rise jeans are tight enough everyone has the "muffin top". Anyway, as much as I appreciate breasts (as I have them myself) I think that clothing can accentuate the features and leaves something to the imagination. It is far more fun to imagine what may be under someone's clothing. You can even make stuff up for shits and giggles. Once someone bears it all then game over man! Game over!

Jul 28, 2006, 3:58:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

No it's not over, breasts change over time. Sometimes I wish I could revisit past breasts to see how they've changed as they mature. You can't have a proper study if you have an N of 1 but I have neithor the funding or the regulatory approval for further study.

Jul 28, 2006, 4:14:00 PM  
Blogger coffeesnob3 said...

More boobies.
Less Shooting.


Oh, and for the record; I'll take a billion muffin tops over another gruesome dead child, thanks.

Jul 28, 2006, 10:44:00 PM  
Anonymous boston insurance renters said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Jul 30, 2006, 11:52:00 AM  
Blogger Bry said...

First: Titties aint wrong. The reason "Girls Gone Wild" aka "Drunk girls' tits" does so well is that we're so goddamned repressed about them.

Second: Breastfeeding babies can arguably be considered sexual (though I don't care, when the kid's hungry the kid's hungry) because some women report pleasant feelings/occasional orgasm from breastfeeding (in a study I only have on paper, no link, but it exists, I promise). Not just in America, but also in New Guinea. This can (supposedly) also happen from over-full breasts that haven't been used in a while, but that needs more research. All of this depends on the breast. Some women have breasts that are very sensitive and breastfeeding hurts and some have less sensitive breasts and it feels good.

Third: I agree with Lisa about the appeal of a nice teasing shirt. Sometimes that means a tight tshirt that doesn't show anything. But I cannot say I mind just plain old seeing tits. They're pretty and round. What is worst is girls in bikini outfits. You see everything BUT the tits and then you don't even care about the last six square inches of skin.

But offense over a baby breastfeeding in a mother's magazine? *sigh*

P.S. AG: You can't have a low cut shirt or your tit hanging out without expecting those who are interested to look. If a guy had really tight pants on wouldn't you look at his package? You might enjoy it sexually, might enjoy it purely because beautiful people are nice to look at, or might be completely disgusted. But you'd look. You wouldn't harass, drool, be inappropriate. But you'd look.

Jul 30, 2006, 3:31:00 PM  
Anonymous budget car insurance uk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Jul 30, 2006, 5:05:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

This can (supposedly) also happen from over-full breasts that haven't been used in a while, but that needs more research.

I am totally willing to write a grant to fund a 60 year multigenerational study on this phenomena. In fact I'm perfectly willing to sign up for human trials myself.

Anything for science!

Jul 30, 2006, 6:33:00 PM  
Blogger Bry said...

Deleted comments are always so intriguing. Anything could have been said!

Jul 30, 2006, 10:14:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

They were both advertisments for other blogs that were nothing but blog spam.

Jul 31, 2006, 9:22:00 AM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

I prefer discreet breast feeding, frankly. It's not a "show" that interests me.

Jul 31, 2006, 9:55:00 AM  
Blogger RicketyFunk said...

"I was SHOCKED to see a giant breast on the cover of your magazine,"

ha ha ha! That's the best thing I've read all day.

Thanks Dean

Jul 31, 2006, 9:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

OK, wait a second. If it wasn't sexual enjoyment, why did you call it a show that you don't have to be asked twice to attend? You've not written about any arms or legs you've seen in Marblehead and how they are a show. Just trying to understand here.

Aug 1, 2006, 3:59:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

Sometimes a show is just a show. It doesn't always have to be sexual. It's more like look at these, I'm proud of them. Can I simply like those without it being purient? Boobies are nice. They are what they are. It's not always about sex.

Aug 1, 2006, 9:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

So, are you saying that you just like to look at them? Like one might be interested in eyes or legs?

If it's not sexual, than what is it? A hobby?

I'm not being a smart acre, I just am trying to follow your logic here.

Aug 1, 2006, 11:19:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

OK so why are boobs sexual and not any random part of the body? They're secondary characteristics. They're not actually involved during the coital act. And they're on both genders although non functional for the males. In some cultures they're not any big deal at all. OK maybe I like boobs but not eyes. Some guys like feet more then boobs are they sexual perverts because they like to look at the girls when they go by in flip flops?

Aug 2, 2006, 12:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

So, for you are they sexual? If not, what about them appeals to you? Do you look at men's breasts?

Again, just trying to work this thru.

OT: Are you serviving the heat? Thank goodness I am slightly more north of you and coastal.

Aug 2, 2006, 12:41:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

I'm sick from forgetting to wash my hands before eating lunch after shaking the doctors hand on monday. I'm in the house with the A/C on. Lisa's grandfather is here with nothing to do but harass me while I convalesce. We're so used to me taking care of him that he doesn't get that I am in no mood to play right now and he really wants to play with his toys. Unfortunately they're all big boys toys that go 350 kilometers per hour I just don't have the head or energy for a German clutch right now.

Do I like boobies? Yes. They're nice. I thought I made that clear. Do I like man boob? No. So why women? Maybe it's hardwired, or subconsious memory from when I was breast fed. Maybe I'm a product of conditioning and only want what I can't see. Is it purely sexual? No. Sometimes "Nice tits" means just that. Your tits are nice. Be proud of them. Sometimes "Nice tits" or at least the thought as I've leaned not to say it aloud in this context means "I'd like to bury my face in them to my ears and shake like a crocodile on acid".

In either case does that make me a bad person?

Aug 2, 2006, 1:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

Not really, but I think your motivation is sexual at the end of the day because you don't desire man boobs. Whatever. It's totally fine. I personally don't agree with the "show me your tits" mentality. Yet nobody said I had to agree with anyone nor do I have to do anything beyond agree to disagree. So, I am glad we had our chat and I respect where you are coming from. :)

Try to feel better!

Even though my house is on the ocean, it's just too damn hot. I have one of the older homes that the windows are so odd shaped and old that there is no way an A/C is going in and being so close to the water, nobody will install C/A. So, I am at work for a bit until it cools off. I miss the A/C of my last house in Boston. Oh well, the northshore is so much prettier. It's the price I have to pay.

Aug 2, 2006, 7:56:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

There is a new kind of ductless central air system for just such a house. The condenser is outside so there's no windobox noise. The coolant gas is condensed to a liquid and piped into the house through a tiny hole. It's then fed into the heat exchange fins in a wall mounted box that has a small whisper fan. The gas then pulls the heat out of the room and is returned back through another small hole and goes back to the condenser. You can do three rooms per condenser and even have the choice of only running one room at a time, unlike central air. You do have to live with some one inch pipes running along the outside of your house and if you want to do every room you'll end up with several condensers next to the house. They're smaller then the TRANE unit we've got and are easy to camoflauge. If I was doing it over, that's the way I'd go. I think it's the kind of thing that will end up costing as much in installation as materials. I think Mitsubishi makes them. I don't remember what they're called.

Aug 3, 2006, 10:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

Yeah, it's the living with stuff that makes it nearly impossible. I also have a home that has little property in the areas where I can put the units because the back yard is behind the studio, which isn't attached to the house.

It's better for the enviroment this way. It really cooled off with my big fan in the window last night.

Aug 3, 2006, 10:56:00 AM  
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Jan 14, 2007, 9:47:00 AM  

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