Thursday, October 26, 2006

No Return On Investment

Why do people buy Christmas presents for people? Really the cynic in me can only come up with two answers. One is that we're so conditioned to do it we've lost even the capacity to consider any other way. The other even more cynical reason is peer pressure and the desire to avoid any guilt for having nothing to swap with someone when they bring you something.

I think that's why Halloween is becoming a bigger and bigger holiday each year. I know my signal to noise ratio is high because I live next to and commute through Salem. I know it's not nearly as high as it would be for the Wolfs or the future Mrs and Mrs ? (Who's name are you taking?) Still, it's pretty clear that Halloween has overtaken The 4th of July as America's favorite non-xmas based holiday.

Pagan arguments and Baptist condemnation aside, isn't Halloween kind of about a celebration of our fantasies and dreams? I mean really. Raise your hand if you're going to a party as or specifically to see a slutty girl wearing animal ears. That's what I'm in it for.

And another thing... Raise your hand if you're going to go dressed as Phil from middle management who lives a life of miserable desperation, terrified that his mortgage rates will adjust up after he renegotiates his alimony schedule with his first wife.

I didn't think so.


Blogger TommyOkktane said...

We're taking the name Luxury-Yacht, but it'll be pronounced "Throatwobbler-Mangrove". But that's another time.

Outside of outside of my window, I don't see Halloween growing exponentially. Actually, I see it becoming more and more compartmentalized.

Oct 27, 2006, 7:38:00 AM  
Blogger coffeesnob3 said...

I'm dressing as North Korea - I wanted to be really fucking scary this year.

Oct 27, 2006, 7:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

Given that I don't commute through Salem, I've seen no Halloween and it's great.

As for the x-mas presents, I wonder the same. Especially since my Christian friends informed me this year they have a Christmas present already bought for me. That would be fine if they didn't know that I was Jewish and do NOT celebrate Christmas. Maybe AG has on her serious pants, but I found it offensive. Especially because they are the type that would be offended if I don't get them something. I am thinking a mezzuah or something for their home. That way they know who they are dealing with for next year.

Oct 28, 2006, 8:06:00 AM  
Blogger RicketyFunk said...

I usually like to give people suck gifts, like hand drawn posters so bizzare that they just want to throw it out with all of the wrapping paper and then give them grief when they don't have it hanging up at their place.

"I spent a good five hours making that thing for you and you don't even have curtesy to hang it up for the rest of December? I thought you were my friend."

It is all about the guilt Dean, it is.

Hallowed Eve is HUGE in Madison. It's like Mardi Gras without the flashing and it only last for a weekend with one big night (Saturday) but that night there's a ka-jillion people that mill up and down State street in costume. I went last year. Even thought the costumage and sheer number of people/idiots was amusing, I was pretty much bored. If you wanted to get into a bar, you had to wait in line for an hour and there were cops everywhere. And then everyone seems to think that they can riot once bar time hits.

This year, the city has tried to curb that by putting up snow fences and selling tickets to get on to the street itself yet they claim that this does not make them liable for anything that happens (as in not sponsoring the event.) I see it more like I've purchased my right to break a window or tear down a light pole and not have to suffer any consequences.

Oct 28, 2006, 10:28:00 AM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

My commute home yesterday was terrible. I got stuck in every bit of Halloowweenn. (too many double letters in that word) Tonight I'm going to stake out some barspace at Rockafella's and wait for the slutty girls with animals ears to walk by.

Oct 28, 2006, 12:10:00 PM  
Blogger Bry said...

We haven't decided on what will follow Mrs. yet. It's a very controversial matter at this point.

And we were recently saying how disappointed we are that our former favorite month of the year, October, is spent screaming at Texas license plates and the bitch of a new mayor who has cops ticketing every local in town for parking on their own damn street (I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE RESIDENT PERMIT BUT I HAVEN'T HAD ONE IN THREE YEARS AND NEVER HAD A PROBLEM BEFORE!!).

And I must say, I find the Halloween sluts painfully icky. Someone needs to explain to these girls that taking a costume, be it Dorothy, School Girl, or Cow (saw that one yesterday) and taking two or three pieces of clothing off does not make you a SEXY Dorothy, School Girl, or Cow. It makes you a COLD and RIDICULOUS Dorothy, School Girl, or Cow.

Halloween is not supposed to be sexy. It's supposed to be funny and drunken. But not too drunken - I'm hoping for no stabbings this year. Talk about ruining the good time.

Oct 29, 2006, 12:37:00 PM  
Anonymous lisajsc said...

I heard on FNX that the most popular costume this year was Kim Jong Eel (I do not know how to spell his name, but you know who I mean). Funny that you wanted to dress like Korea Coffeesnob.
I hugged some guy dressed like Michael Myers and talked some guy into giving me a flashing thing he picked up off the ground. I was going outside to get it because Coffeesnob wanted it. He picked it up first, but I talked him into giving it to me. I win! But, it was an icky light up mouth piece.

Oct 31, 2006, 2:35:00 PM  

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