Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Final Exam Time

Real questions from my chemistry final exam. Can you answer them?


What is the formula for heavy water?

A number without ______ is _______.

Zombies have no body temperature and are cold blooded. Their temperature is whatever the ambient temperature is. Imagine you have a Star Trek transporter and beam 100 zombies into an airtight container full of helium. Would the temperature in the container rise or fall? Explain why.

____ _____ __________-___________

And my favorite:

What is the secret formula for Coca-Cola?

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Blogger Follower said...

I'm ignoring the two all-blank entries as I do not understand their purpose.

1. Deuterium oxide (D2O) or deuterium protium oxide (HDO)
2. orange juice, a day without sunshine
3. Extremely minimal rise as pitiful shambling movements slightly increase the ambeint helium temperature (also, the pitch of their calls for brains would certain rise)
4. Pervasive global marketing, going non-stop since the 1920's

Jun 8, 2007, 12:57:00 PM  
Blogger Kevin Wolf said...

I would soooo fail your test that it's not even funny.

Except it is, sort of.

Jun 8, 2007, 1:45:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

The first blank one is 1 point they can fill in anything they feel like telling me. Usually they just beg for an A. Sometimes they surprise me with something witty. It's kind of a tradition on my tests.

A number without units is meaningless. It's the very first thing I said to them on the first day of lecture.

The third blank one has is two short words and two long words with a hyphen in them. Think about it.

The zombie question probes their knowledge of Boyle's, Charles' and (the unfortunately named) Gay-Lussac's laws. That one is worth 10 points. (Basically, if the gas can't escape the addition of the zombies will lower the volume which will raise the pressure if pressure goes up the temp will go up. Helium is pretty close to an ideal gas and so should obey the ideal gas law. I hadn't even thought about a squeaky voiced zombie. I'll let you know if the kids mention it.)

The secret formula for Coca-Cola is just a 1 point bonus but it is something we've discussed in class.

Jun 8, 2007, 4:07:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Jun 8, 2007, 4:07:00 PM  
Blogger Follower said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Jun 8, 2007, 4:25:00 PM  
Anonymous lisajsc said...

Good Daren! You are right.

Jun 8, 2007, 4:33:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

Yes, Darren. You were correct but I make it a policy not to let my full name link directly to the blog. As much as I talk trash about my life no one from Swam______ can truly pin this on me. I still have a shred of plausable denialability.

Jun 8, 2007, 8:31:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Jun 8, 2007, 8:32:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Jun 8, 2007, 8:32:00 PM  
Blogger Follower said...

Right. I thought of that after I posted it. Of course, you were prepared for people to do that by posting the question in the first place.

"Let's call her L. Simpson. No, that's too obvious, make it Lisa S."

Jun 11, 2007, 12:39:00 PM  
Blogger RicketyFunk said...

I was going to do this on Friday but I got too busy at work so I'm doing it today, at work. (Not as busy.)

Answer to question 1:
Yes I can answer them. Can I answer them "correctly" is a different question.

Answer to question 2:
It would be easy to search for this on the internets. From what I remember though, I think it involves diving for a sub somewhere in the Scandanavian peninsula area... Because the last known heavy water sank in a sub that Hitler was trying to get his hands on to make heavy mud pies.

Answer to question 3:
"A number without" a name "is" just another soldier dead.

Answer to question 4:
This question is tricky, especially since I wasn't there in class on the day we covered Star Trek transporters and their effect on molecular composisition. My basic assumption is that the air-tight container would burst open and let loose a hundred Zombies that sound like Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. While this is the most likely scenario, I believe the answer you may be looking for has nothing to do with zombies, Star Trek or even the degree of difficulty of constructing and maintaining an air-tight container but in fact deals with the improbability of affording enough Helium to fill an air-tight container sizeable enough to facilitate 100 zombies. That's a lot of pressure.

Answer to question 5:
The secret formula for Coca-cola is a trade secret and revealing it would cost me my job. But I can hint that the secret ingredient is hidden in plain sight in the form of a crude, insensitive, and racist lyric about our friends from the Far East.

Jun 11, 2007, 1:34:00 PM  

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