Where I've been.

For a few months I haven't really felt like talking. I had a lot on my mind but nothing approaching a cogent thought. For much of the time we were simply exhausted from, well from life.

Lisa's grandfather passed away. Now I'm almost free to talk about it. It's hard to talk without sounding like I'm gloating. I'm not. Tom was my best friend these last few years. We played together. I listened to the same god damned stories every week. Each telling seemed to be taking on a more intense sense of urgency. Tom had to get them out before his end came. He knew it was coming. He fought every slip and slide toward what comes next. Kind of like that Seinfeld episode where George fakes being a marine biologist.

"The sea was angry that day my friend!" "Like an old man sending back a bowl of soup in a restaurant."

Tom refused that last bowl of soup as if he could hold off and hold on to one more rush. But he knew when he bought his last car that he was buying his last car. He knew the mess he was leaving when he burned the engine on his Porsche. He knew no one would buy his broken down Bricklin during his lifetime.

We had the Porsche fixed. I just could not stand the thought of it not rolling around. The Bricklin I can do myself.

He left Lisa the house and the objects there-in. He left the cars to her but it was understood that the cars would be for me to look after as I had when he was living. He left us land that we can't build a house on. The joke's on Wenham. I found a tax loophole that lets me tell them to go fuck off. We can't build and they can't tax us on it. They get my trees for a decade and I have my own adventure park to four wheel drive in.

We have nothing to complain about. Hopefully no one else will and the estate will pass probate quickly. In the mean time, I know what 250 km per hour feels like.

I Have Even Less In Life To Complain About

I have tickets to see The Dead Milkmen play in Philadelphia in 2 weeks. It's an all ages show at the Unitarian Church so I'm going to be all like right next to them.

And I just bought tickets to a secret show on 10/25. It's gonna be an all Dead Milkmen weekend for me and the Mrs!

What's Wrong With Education In America Part Whatever: The End For Now

I pretty much have to close out this thread for a while but before I go there's this.

McCain/Palin

Oh well. It was nice while it lasted.

Unless...

Do you think McCain purposely imploded his campaign just to call America's bluff. I mean certainly he can't be thinking Middle America is so racist that his campaign could survive the dead whore/live boy in the backseat that usually ruins politicians. Does he really expect us all to roll into the voting booth and collectively say "Lie'n sluts or a Democrat? Fuck it! No Negroes in the Whitehouse for me!"

Are we that racist that he thinks he can get away with so obvious a lie?

Then again, dead poonanni in the backseat of his car never stopped Ted Kennedy.

Or do you think it's go give him an excuse to step down at the convention and give all his electoral votes to Romney. I hear Romney has suddenly received Secret Service protection.

Tomb of the Unknown Comic

OK, I admit it. I loved 'The Gong Show' when I was a kid. I didn't understand half of the raunchy humor but I loved the look of disappointment on peoples faces when they got gonged. Didn't those people know they sucked? I was only 7 but I could tell they were terrible. They were adults they should have known better.

The other night I caught the last 10 minutes of the new Gong Show hosted by Dave Attel. I like Dave Attel in small doses. I liked his last show where he wandered around strange cities at night. I'm one degree of separation from him and hear he's really a nice guy back stage.

The new version had Andy Dick, Dave Navarro and some black guy I've never heard of as judges. It's not clear to me who is JP Morgan and who is Jamie Farr. I don't see the new show lasting very long. I came in during the midget wrestling bit and from then on nobody got gonged.

God damn it. I wish I was Dave Navarro. Show ends and he just starts making out with some random stripper. Dave Attel is standing there hamfisted announcing some crap, I don't even remember and Dave Navarro is half way to third base. He's not even surprised that some random slut is kissing him, like it happens two or three times a day. It probably does. Damn. I really wish I was Dave Navarro.

Before you get upset with me, especially you Adorable GF, and say "What about Lisa?" I know for a fact that Lisa wishes I was Dave Navarro too.

It's All Fun And Games Until The HOA Complains To The Building Inspector About Your Lack Of Permits

I almost wish I didn't hate snow so much because this sounds like good clean fun. At least until the dog poop melts.

OK, who here thinks the beer cases aren't random junk picked up by the plows but left over from one of the swim teams "celebrations."

No Time For Love Doctor Jones!

I haven't really been watching TV much. I'm paying a stinking fortune to those bastards at Comcast for internet and HBO, Skinemax, Starz, Showtime, Encore and The Movie Channel. I don't watch much. Usually if I get that kind of time I fall asleep. I'm still working more 36 hour days then I should. Last week I fell asleep behind the wheel twice. Both times I woke up inches away from side swiping a parked car.

I got a full nights sleep two nights in a row this weekend yet tonight I fell asleep during The Simpsons. I think it was because they've become quite boring. I don't expect The Simpsons to ever be as funny as the Connan O'Brian years but lately they haven't been funny at all. One thing I have been watching lately has been foreign horror and Britcoms.

I have to blame the writers for this. If I remember correctly, The Simpsons is the one show that the writers have control over. Producers aren't allowed to bring "notes" or screw with scripts that have passed "standards". It's uncharacteristically un-republican of me to say this but I support the writers decision to strike. I hope they get fair treatment. I'm sorry the grips, gaffers and other crew are feeling collateral damages but they wouldn't have a job in the first place if the writers didn't camp out at 18th Street Coffee House in front of their laptop. The make-up girl is still going to collect a paycheck regardless of whether I watch "The Office" through my cable connection to the TV set or watch "The Office" through my cable connection to my PowerBook. However, only one path between the writers fingers to my eyeball compensates the writer. That's what this is about.

That's why the writers have their own union in the first place. They were smart enough to know that the Teamsters weren't going to get them a better deal. If the Best Boy wants a residual check maybe he needs to join a union that fights for a better cut of the paycheck. I hear the crew complaining about the writers but what they really need might not be a union that fights for the right to stand around doing nothing but keep the clock running while the director waits for magic hour. I don't blame the studio for layoffs. If you want residual payments too you should elect union reps who are, you know, smart. Maybe Joe Bob was great at swinging a hammer and did great at woodshop in high school but he's out gunned in the frontal lobes when negotiating with front office management that requires an Ivy League degree to be the mail clerk.

No one complained when musicians demanded the same royalty for CD's that they used to get for VINYL platters. Name the last 12 inch diameter black disk you purchased. Admit it, you paused for more then a second. You paused two seconds if you thought that 'S' was a 'C'. It's been that long since records were sold that way. I'll bet you a copy of "Little Miss Sunshine" on VHS that you can't find it.

Writers aren't stupid. They have enough vision to see what's coming around the bend. They have to be smart or they don't get paid. This strike isn't about their greed today it's about knowing when one medium is dead and acknowledging when new technology is taking over.

So maybe American TV isn't worth watching. It's been that way since Philo T Farnsworth first shot electrons through a tube. I've been watching season 6 of The Simpsons in my classroom after school. Listening really, as I set up for labs. I'm thinking of having my Netflixs sent to the school. Maybe abandoning the airwaves will be a good thing. Without the FCC and "Standards & Practice" telling writers what they can write they might have something worthwhile to say. I'd actually miss TV. In the mean time, does anyone remember the '88 writers strike? I vaguely remember that episode of Moonlighting where they ran short so Bruce Willis just sang to Cybil Shepard for 10 minutes?

They Love Each Other

Last night Barney refused to come to bed because Little Princess Sheba still gets locked in the downstairs bathroom every night. He want's her to come up to bed with us. They're that inseparable now.

Then The Screen Goes Black

When I lived in Boston's North End in the early to mid 90's there were little signs every where you looked. They were cheaply printed about the size of a bumper sticker. They were taped to lamp posts or stuck in the corner of the windows of every Italian owned business. They read "Free Joseph Salvati!"

Joe Salvati was a minor criminal thug who got swept into jail for a crime he didn't commit. Despite being a small time hood, his neighborhood rallied around him when the FBI railroaded him into prison for a crime he didn't commit. 20 years later there were still North Enders who felt outrage over the FBI's obvious miscarriage of justice.

But the damage was done. Not just to Salvati, Limone, Tameleo and Greco. They were the most visibly injured by the FBI. The real damage is to the citizens of the city who equate the FBI with injustice and allow organized crime to flourish. How many mob hits go unsolved because the locals fear organized criminals less then they feel spite for corrupt law enforcement.

And the damage is going to hit me and you. It's the government that will pay 101 million dollars to a bunch of thugs and their families. It's going to come out of our taxes.

No Way, Not Even With Cleavage!

If you're a die hard GenX'r who remembers the little show which preceded "Freaks and Geeks" that I like to call "Square Pegs" and you live in Comcast land, look in the Tube Time section of OnDemand.

Now if only they'd show "Delta House", "San Pedro Beach Bums", the ripoff of "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" called "Fast Times" and "Parker Lewis Can't Lose".

OK, Here's One More

The first question of a 4 question final exam for my Freshmen Physics class.

What did we study all year and what did you learn? Please give specific examples.

Final Exam Time

Real questions from my chemistry final exam. Can you answer them?

____________________________________________!


What is the formula for heavy water?

A number without ______ is _______.

Zombies have no body temperature and are cold blooded. Their temperature is whatever the ambient temperature is. Imagine you have a Star Trek transporter and beam 100 zombies into an airtight container full of helium. Would the temperature in the container rise or fall? Explain why.

____ _____ __________-___________

And my favorite:

What is the secret formula for Coca-Cola?

My Dream Come True!

A TV show about zombies...

I can't fucking wait! I hope it's on opposite 24. I'm sick of being hooked on that piece of crap.

But I mean Fuck!!! Fuckin zombies!

I'm watching that shit!

This Is The Worse News I've Had All Year

Some movies just shouldn't get a sequel! What the hell. Why can't there just be a good movie that stand's alone, on it's own. Why do we need a fucking franchise visciously hoovering all the money out of our pockets. I mean it's complete and total SHITE. It's not like movies today don't have better directions to go in. Why are they making a sequel to a movie that didn't even make twenty million dollars at the box office? Maybe because it only cost 3.5 mil to make and any movie that makes more then 4 times budget gets a banker hot for more. So it will probably get a budget of 40 mil and make 35 mil opening weekend and then 80 overall.

An funny little note, the two posts this week have been about movies starring the same actor.

OK fixed a typo in the link.

When Did I Become A Screaming Drama Queen?

Barney came home yesterday. It turns out he had a bladder infection from mineral crystals in his regular food. His kidneys are fine and the vet doesn't think it's from the poisonous petfoods at this time. He's on 3 medicines twice a day for a month and has prescription catfood. We have to make sure he pees every day but so far that's not a problem.

We were giving him the best foods we could and spoiling him rotten. He was getting treats. He had a fresh litter box every time he went into it thanks to the robot claw. He had everything he ever wanted (well, except for some kitty lovin with that white cat.)

Since we weren't emptying the litter box every day we didn't really notice he wasn't tinklin properly.

So thanks to the petfood recall, we were hyper vigilant of Barney's health and mistook the early symptoms of a bladder infection for exposure to deadly poison and wisked him off to the vet weeks before we would have noticed otherwise.

He was very relieved to see us when we went to pick him up. So relieved that he forgave us for bringing him to that horrible place. He's not happy about the new food but he's eating it. I think he thinks he's being punished because we can't give him his usual treats. Cat's hate change.