Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I Miss Napster

I'm listening to old singles I hastilly shoved onto my iPod. Biz Markey's "Just A Friend" comes on. You know the one with the horrible singing and the "You got what I need." There's one line where he vets his potential mate by inviting her to sit with him at the autograph table after the show. He does this to ostensably see if she's, and I quote him here, "100 proof." Now I've probably heard this song a couple hundred times over the years and it hits me. The reason why he's having so much trouble with this girl is that she's only 50%. Now I don't know what her other half is but if she's 100 proof she's not all there.

That's the problem with him is that either his standards are not very high, he doesn't understand units and their importance when taking measurements or he specifically wants a girl who's not all there. The latter insuring that his life is full of drama and women who are crazy but not in the good way.

And speaking of fucked up. That link is from his website. Click on his link to his video for his song and see what you get from YouTube. How the fuck can YouTube claim that the post violates terms of use when the author doesn't seem to mind that it's online and even uses the link for self promotion. At this point in Biz's career he can only benefit from the possibility that some Gen Xer remembers him fondly and maybe swells with nostalgia enough to buy his music, see his show or in the off chance that it's someone corporate who decides to buy the song to use in a burger commercial. Maybe it'll be heard by someone who remembers MTV and when they played it 5 times a day. Maybe it was playing at the 8th grade dance when he got his first kiss. Maybe that kid has some bucks now and can afford the $29.50 + busfare it would take to get him to play the song at his 30th birthday party.

I'd buy Tylenol if the commercial showed someone trying to open a bottle while he sings "You got what I need" to the bottle. Come to think of it that lyric works for so many products. Biz could probably use the money so Madison Avenue help a brother out.

Everytime I hear this I want to buy a Toyota Rav4 and I really want to go on a cruise so I can kick heroin. Dig around the first link and you can find an audio clip for the song YouTube doesn't want you to hear.

By the way Iggy Pop rocked! The Orpheum is rapidly becoming my least favorite place to see a show. I like the Aganis Arena if you're not too far from the show. Maybe I'll rent it out for my 40th birthday party and hire Biz to valet park my friends cars. Now I'm just being mean.

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Blogger RicketyFunk said...

I saw the 'Biz' perform that song live at the SpitKickers Tour in 2001. He was the DJ between Talib Kwali, Common, and De La Soul. After Common did his thing, he was up at the turn tables and then DJ Hi Tek came out and took over and He came out and performed that song. It was a nice higlight to the evening.

Apr 13, 2007, 4:59:00 PM  

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