Wednesday, July 23, 2008

What I Did During My Summer Vacation

I watched movies. Can you guess which one?

There is no way she drove a manual transmission in those heels.

That’s the band in “From Dusk Til Dawn”.

He’s got a PhD in kicking ass but he can’t kick cancer.

That means “Two Shits”.

You can’t just give someone a car by handing them keys. The registry will want some paperwork to back up the transaction.

I’d like to see her get nipple to nipple.

Ha Ha Ha. It’s funny because a blind guy can’t really see.

That’s called foreshadowing.

Aren’t there police in this town?

That’s his new beater? I want a car that nice.

Because above every barn there’s a palatial paradise with a lake view.

I swear it’s an amazing coincidence that the villain lives across the lake from the protagonist.

The table had it coming.

I’d finish.

Oh that explains why he bought new tires.

Take your heels off before you get into the pool.

Man ass.

There’s no way a floor to ceiling window with no safety rail is up to code even in Missouri.

I would have let him hit me and then sued him for his helicopter.

That’s the prettiest thug I’ve ever seen. So homo erotic it makes me question my own masculinity.

I want one of those trike ATV bikes. Quads are for pussies.

Why doesn’t someone bring a gun to all these knife fights. It’s Missouri for crisakes. They give school children guns.

Hollywood ugly is when they put glasses on someone hot.

“Nobody ever wins a fight.”

And then for no reason they throw in a monster truck full of gay hitmen. This movie is fucking awesome.

So I get it. The story arc is plot with Dalton then there’s gay hitmen then topless women then more plot then a musical interlude in the bar followed by a fight. Repeat.

Is she wearing a table cloth?

Wow take off the glasses and she’s hot!

Did she get tanner on the drive from the cafe to the parking lot?

He’s got a whole farm, why is he lying on a broken window?

Who needs two pool tables?

That Fotomat was a lasting investment wasn’t it?

A new sign attracts a line out the door.

They even hired a black guy to show things are changed.

It’s been a while where are the topless sluts and what is this business of a musical interlude without a bar fight?

What is up with the 50’s music soundtrack? You’ve got John Doe in the cast why couldn’t you get him to write a song for the film? “Johnny Hit and Run Pauline” would be slammin during the love scene.

Oooh girl ass.

Wait, wasn’t Sam Elliot in this movie?

Oh, that’s who taught him the knee trick.

I’d prefer my physician to have more than a couple hours sleep.

OK there’s music in the bar so there should be a fight in a moment.

How does he play the guitar like it’s a piano?

And Red’s place moved across town so that it could be right out front so you could run out and look when it blows up.

I wouldn’t have let her get on the stage in the first place.

Again, it’s Missouri, where are all the guns? Oh there’s one.

The fighting, it’s almost like Ballet.

So fucking guys in prison is kind of gay isn’t it? I mean I called it right the first time, didn’t I?

There’s that neck thing that was foreshadowed at the beginning.

Come on, why can’t you be cool about this?

So was it Wade or Elizabeth?

Why didn’t you bring him with you since he’s obviously not safe at the bar alone.

Now everybody has guns.

Awww he loved that car.

The knife is a message.

Two guys with white shirts and jeans fighting. I don’t know which is the bad guy.

Is that Bob Rooney from “Married With Children”?

It’s a dead bear. It’s falling forward. Just take one step to the left

I want a room full of things that I’ve killed.

I think it was Oscar Wilde who said that you can’t have a glassed topped coffee table in the first act without dropping the villains dead body through it before the end of the movie.

“A polar bear fell on me.”

Did anyone ever pull the dead guy out of that lake?

Labels: , ,

5 Comments:

Anonymous Dede said...

Man, that was cool! I just watched Roadhouse in my mind by reading your blog! (I forgot about the bear)

Jul 24, 2008, 11:19:00 PM  
Blogger Adorable Girlfriend said...

Wait, you watched the Dukes of Hazard?

Jul 28, 2008, 6:18:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

I own the DVDs.

Jul 28, 2008, 10:07:00 PM  
Blogger RicketyFunk said...

The Double Douce gets referenced a lot in my world. Especially when I'm in well lit bars.That was the brightest bar I've ever seen (and that place full of redneck frat boys and sorstitutes in Bloomington, IN came close.)

Jul 29, 2008, 2:02:00 PM  
Blogger Dean ASC said...

I would like directions to that place full of sorostitutes in Bloomington please.

Jul 30, 2008, 9:02:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Download Web Counters

Thanks for stopping by.



Email me - dean.rules@yahoo.com