Barney is strange

Right now Barney is licking a plastic bag and I think he's making his intentions to have relations with it.

Barney is upset.

Lisa's grandfather is dying.

Can We Get A Little More Stress Please

Lisa and I have been flat out busy. Her grandfather has had one heck of a fall and start to winter. His long standing heart valve problem took a turn for the worse at the same time his prostate ballooned like a bad mortgage interest rate. Then pneumonia landed him in the hospital before Thanksgiving.

He was only in the hospital for a couple days but since then he's been a 24 hour job for Lisa. There is some hope on the horizon. We've hired a live in nurse to take over Nuno's care. Now Lisa can come up for air.

So if it seems like I was ignoring you or not taking calls it's because we're exhausted. Maybe now we can have some part of our life back.

Why is Senator Jim Oberstar trying to block the construction of the Cape Cod Wind Farm? Isn't this guy from Minnesota? Isn't he House Transportation Committee Chairman? Shouldn't he be worried about fixing bridges in his home state? What favor does fellow bridge hater Ted Kennedy now owe? Or maybe it's not a favor. What juicy bit of dirt could a drunk driving cheat be using against Oberstar?

I guess when Ted Kennedy isn't busy not leaving children behind or busy leaving sluts behind he's doing backroom deals to make sure that he disappoints 85% of the good citizens of the Commonwealth.

I Take A Nearly Lethal Dose Of Ritalin Every Day And I Have To Admit This Guy Is King Of All ADD Patients!!!

If ever there was a case of it taking one to know one this is it. So there's this guy who's nearly 60 and he's a junk collector in North Carolina. Dude has a simple dream, one he's been pursuing for a while now. He's got these Christmas trees that he's been growing. He wants to string lights on them. Six hundred and fifty thousand lights to be exact. So far the story seems kind of ordinary. Lots of people dream of having the biggest something or other. Especially around the holidays. Many fine individuals go over the deep end decorating without accusations of being hyperactive. Stu Ellis is no mere decorator. He wants to finance this operation by short selling the stock market which by his estimate should see the DJIA listing around 500 by next year. A year ago you would have thought he was crazy to say that out loud. Today it seems perfectly plausible. Still no ADHD there. This is the kind of thing that you can't make up. He's going to finance his private equity fund by selling one of the 7 wonders of the modern science fiction world. It turns out that he's got a very significant movie prop hanging on a string in his garage. He's going to sell the model space ship from Forbidden Planet which was just about the greatest Science Fiction movie of all time. OK still no Attention Deficit Disorder here. He's cashing in on some luck in the collectables market. What makes this the perfect storm of ADD is that his mother had to remind him to take a look around his house for something valuable that he could sell. It's like me with the closet doors. Some of you may remember I have to take them off the hinges or else I forget I have clothes.

As for Forbidden Planet, it is probably the most optimistic expression of art ever created. It's loosely based on Shakespeare's The Tempest and blessed with all the cheerful sensibility that 1950's America could handle. The plot is borrowed from Elizabethan theater and the underlying theme remains that of the horrors that mankind may bring upon our self if suddenly our dreams become real. It explores the moral that perhaps some dreams should not come true.

Perhaps like dreaming that you'll bring down all of Wall Street so that you can generate enough light pollution in your backyard that space aliens will want to land at your house and then getting your mom to help you bring that dream to reality.

That man's a fucking genius. All I have to show for my ADD is this blog and some late homework.

I Don't Know Where To Begin With How Wrong This Picture Is

This picture makes Baby Linus Pauling weep. It's kind of like making Baby Jesus weep except that Linus Pauling wasn't made up. OK, I believe Jesus was a real person but I'm not so certain about that walking on water and infinite catering myth.

The picture is from the TV drama show Eleventh Hour which I haven't watched and probably won't if they can't get their sophomore year organic chemistry straight.

Starting from the top left and reading clockwise, let's analyze this molecule. The two H3C groups are acceptable. They are commonly know as methyl groups and they would hang off that single carbon like that. I'm fine with the carbon with two single bonds to the aforementioned methyl groups. I'm fine that it then has a double bond. I'm not fine with where the double bonds lead to. L is not an abbreviation on the periodic table so I'm thinking that's a capital I. Iodine would have only one bond. It certainly would not have 5 bonds. The carbon just below the iodine should have four bonds not one.
I'm comfortable with everything else until you get to the OH group with a double bond to the second to last carbon. The carbon has four bonds as expected. The oxygen however has three bonds where two would be expected.

Boron (B) should have 3 bonds or be part of a 6 bond co-ordination complex. Either way, it's wrong here. The O has two bonds but then that last carbon is missing either a bond or another hydrogen.

The only excuse for this would be if it's a description of a transition state for a very complex reaction. Otherwise this is just fucked up. Since I don't watch crappy TV which is basically any TV that pauses for a commercial break I haven't seen the full episode and have no idea what's going on in this picture. If I'm wrong in my critique here, let me know.

Homeland Security Theater

I can't tell if this is more like when narcotics cops smoke pot or when vice cops fuck the prostitute before arresting her.

In any event, shit like this has got to stop.

It seems that the gangsta rappers where right all along.

Sometimes People Just Explode

This is either going to be awesome or suck beyond belief and thoroughly and inexorably link that suckitude to the original.