Sunday, February 25, 2007

They Really Don't Care Who They Kill Or Let Die So Long As They Get Their Money

The modern medicine show looks pretty grim. At least in the 1880's the hucksters put on a musical before they took a sucker for all his money. The good news is that I know how to make dichloroacetate in my kitchen.

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Saturday, February 24, 2007

For Whom The Bell Tolls

It tolls for thee.

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Friday, February 23, 2007

Where Have I Been?

Wow, an unusually busy vacation week off from school. I am getting nothing done. Lisa's grandfather was in the hospital for a day. Bronchitis is the most likely problem. He's becoming a handful. Not the spry fellow he was a year ago. I'm also very worried about age related dementia. He's not as clear as he used to be. There's nothing wrong with his hearing but he doesn't understand speach. Everything is "What?" "What?" "What?" Then he gets it but by that point we're shouting our repeated statement at him. He doesn't understand why we're shouting at him all the time.

He's worried all the time about stupid little things. The heat isn't on and he's worried that the heater is broken. I'll admit that this was a problem for a month this winter but after $1,500 it's fixed and working. Sometimes it's warm enough in the house that it doesn't have to be on. Wait until the sun goes down, the heat will come back on. He doesn't get that no matter how many times we tell him that.

The day job is getting harder. I can't play when he wants to. I can't take care of the cars. I'm overwhelmed. I have another MTEL next week. I'm still trying to add Physics to my license. I'm not the least bit prepared.

Lisa and I are a couple days away from another ride on the in-vitro fertalization rollercoaster. I have to come up with something for a substitute to do for a couple days. I got a couple movies from Netflix. I guess I'll show them.

I did pass to the second degree with the Masons. I'm a Fellow Craft now. On St Patricks day I expect to pass to Master Mason. And Darren, that's not really what the G stands for but I can't tell you what it is.

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Monday, February 19, 2007

I Feel Better

The Police added a second show. Lisa and I got a pair of tickets. I'm kind of pissed off that it wasn't for the Saturday night show.

Really I have nothing to complain about.

I have a student who's mother passed away. She was sent to live with her grandmother who shortly after passed away. She next lived with an "aunt" who just passed away. Now she's under the care of DSS and will be placed in foster care.

Really, I have absolutely no right to complain about not getting tickets to a concert. My life is pretty fucking great.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007


The Police, the band not the states muscle, have fucked us. Lisa and I tried to get advanced tickets. We wanted them so badly that we were willing to pay an extra $100 above the fees that Ticketbastard rapes you with. We joined "the fan club" only to find that they'll email us a code in 10 days for "advanced" tickets. Tickets go on sale to the general public (a much better band) in 7 days. The bank refuses to get involved.

I really want to see The Police but I really want them all to go fuck themselves.


Sunday, February 11, 2007

Ahead Of My Time

This sounds familiar.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Pour Some Sugar On Me

It's been a long week. Made even longer by my having taken Friday off to go to a seminar on tiered instruction. A buzzword meaning extra lesson plans that amount to busy work for the gifted and talented kids while the sped kids catch up. You'd think that a development day would be a fun day off but it was work combined with having to leave a decent sub plan. The seminar was OK but we (the assistant principal and one teacher from each department) got kind of punchy towards the end.

The conference was in Franklin and the map they sent me was lacking in crucial details. I got lost which I almost never do. Fortunately I tend to drive like a maniac and was ahead of schedule before I had to backtrack. I got there on time but I put the new clutch to the test (the third one the truck has had in 116,000 miles.) While at the conference, the assistant principal called in and found out there was a fight between two students. One went to the hospital the other went to jail. I don't have either student and I hear the kid had it coming to him but assault is still assault.

Afterwards I drove back to the High School to make sure the emperor scorpions I have were set for the weekend. Also I was chaperoning the Sadie Hopkins dance.

What a dance it was. It started ordinary enough. Kids came in and paid their ten bucks each. They compared new dresses. The boys tried to look all cool. Music was playing. Slowly they all filtered onto the dance floor. Girls first then a few couples. Small packs of boys stood off to the side watching and looking cool.

It was the first high school dance I have ever been to sober.

Then the freak dancing started. First one couple grinded against each other. I tried to get them to either stop or do it where the chaperones couldn't see it. Then another couple started. The progression was geometric and soon I couldn't stop the floor humping. The principal started to tell them to stop. Then he stopped the music and announced over the loudspeaker for them to dance nicely. The students returned taunts and chants of "Let us dance!" Kids were getting pissed off. The principal was getting pissed off. He nearly called off the dance. He told the kids about the dance in Concord where the faculty stopped the dance and cancelled all future dances. Unfortunately that case ended with egg on the face of the principal. Parents attacked the school committee and got the dances back. It sent a clear message to the kids that the principal has no authority to enforce rules at all. That they could do whatever they wanted as long as their parents were politically powerful.

Last night the principal gave up. We let the kids dry hump until sweat made it a wet hump. Concerned that the principal would call off the dance students took turns arguing with him over why they couldn't dance that way. They tag teamed him so effectively that he never got a chance to come back down to the dance floor. Other then that the kids were well behaved. Some of my students said hello, others were too cool to be seen talking with a teacher at the dance. There were a few on the dance floor that smelled of alcohol but I couldn't pinpoint exactly who so I let it slide. They got past the police at the door and weren't drinking in front of me so there was nothing I could really do.

Telling the kids they couldn't grind just made them all want to grind. If we had told them not to do Cocaine every kid there would have been on their cellphone calling 411 in Medillin to get Pablo Escobars home line.

It was actually pretty funny to see some of the freshmen trying to grind like the big kids but the boys were too excited to keep with the rythm and the girls couldn't stop giggling.

I don't know what monday is going to bring. I expect some fallout. The most politically expedient thing to do will be to require at least 20 parents as chaperones for the next dance. Let the community decide if grinding offends community standards.

In the mean time I suggested all future social events become "pants dance" where everyone, boy and girl has to wear pants. Or perhaps canvas overalls. Something with a nice scratchyness to it.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

This Is Probably The Last Thing Adorable Girlfriend Will Ever Read On My Blog

Sorry AG, I don't believe the FDA is truly capable of ascertaining whether or not they've recieved all the data from any Big Pharma drug trial. It's entirely too easy to bury bad trials when motivated to do so. I do believe you've seen the FDA bite like a pit bull but I also know that pit bulls are just small dogs and the drug companies can cherry pick whatever data they want the FDA to see.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Desert Island Mix Tape

U2 "Out Of Control"

Violent Femmes "Blister In The Sun"

Van Halen "Aint Talkin Bout Love"

Cheap Trick "I Want You To Want Me"

The Go-Go's "Surfing And Spying"

Nitzer Ebb "Join In The Chant"

The Rolling Stones "Too Much Blood" (I know, I'm just as shocked as you are.)

The Rolling Stones "Miss You" (No really I have no fucking idea how they slipped in here.)

The Rolling Stones "Gimme Shelter" (That's it for those stinking hippies, I swear!)

Black Flag "Slip It In"

X "Las Angeles"

Tom Petty "American Girl" (I miss Brian... Say, are you about a size 14?)

Martin Eden "Fader"

Martin Eden "Chuck Jones"

Martin Eden "Ten Inch Xena"

Ozzy "Crazy Train"

Ozzy "Mr Crowley" (I sing this every day to my cat only I sing "Mr Barney.")

Janes Addiction "Mountain Song"

Porno For Pyros "Porno For Pyros"

Squeeze "Tempted"

Squeeze "Cool For Cats" (I feel like I'm loaded to the gills on cocaine and cold medicine and transported back in time to Eric and T.J. Winick's living room the night we won Drama Fest every time I hear this song. That was the first time I'd ever heard this song. It was also the only time I'd ever been over the Winnick's house. Marty was there. So was Panda. Flashbacks are creepy sometimes. Don't do drugs.)

The Dead Milkmen "Going To Graceland"

The Dead Milkmen "Instant Club Hit" (Come On! It's classic!)

The Dead Milkmen it's not really titled but that stuff at the end of "Now Everybody's Me" about left handed lesbians always puts a smile on my face!

The Dead Milkmen "Message To You Rudy" (An obscure cover but a good one)

Rush "Closer To The Heart"

Rob Base "It Takes Two"

Samantha Fox "Touch Me"

Taylor Dayne "Tell It To My Heart" (OK yeah. I'm a little gay. I can still beat you up so anytime you want to go out into the parking lot you just let me know.)

Elvis Costello "Radio Radio" (I wanna bite the hand that feeds me.)

Duran Duran "Too Much Information" (Destroyed by ABC I hate to bite the hand that feeds me Too much information)

Duran Duran "Reach Up For The Sunrise" (New but everything I would have expected in '86 if they hadn't broken up in '85.)

The Beatles "Tomorrow Never Knows" (The last thing I want to hear before I die is my wife telling me she loves me. I want to hear this just before that.)

A Short List Of People I Think Are Under Rated!!!

These people don’t get nearly the respect they deserve.

Ronnie James Dio

That’s fucking it.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

I Love Being Right

Behold the power of blogging!

One more.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

I Wasn't Really Going To Comment On It

I thought the recent upset over Aqua Teen Hunger Force in the Boston area would be blogged to death without my input. Then I found myself at Herrels in Allston. Across the street from Blanchards. Deep in the heart of slacker country.

Sitting at one of the little tables was a trio of men. One an aging hippy turned 70's punk with his white hair crew cut, earing and leather jacket. The other two were a couple young men with dreadlocks and liprings. As mommy hating as any other BU alternaguy.

Their topic of conversation? They were discussing how Beatles haircuts influenced hairstyles during the nineteen seventies. Without the slightest hint of irony.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

How Big Are Gods Balls?

I say the church should grow a pair and go ahead with plans to show the game. Let the NFL sue a church. Let the NFL stand in the harsh light of day and show the world just how upstanding members of the community they really are.
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