Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Which Came First?
Lisa's experiences with drugs and alcohol are best compared with the 'Absolutely Fabulous' character Saffron if you consider my appetites to be on par with Patsy. So when she got shot up with Demerol and Fentanyl (both a form of synthetic heroin) she unloaded all her anxiety, which delayed our departure. Some folks just can't handle their high. Then again it doesn't take much for even the most experienced hedonist to loose their nut over a dish full of prawns.
Lisa's Grandfather asked about what's going on. We had been vague about her treatments for the last few months. Gossip within the family is brutal. He was really worried when Lisa didn't come out of bed for hours yesterday. I finally had to tell him that she was in the hospital to remove egg follips from her ovaries. He shut his eyes and waived his hands "Don't tell me anymore!" Now all we have to do to deflect questions is just say "ovaries". I can understand his concern, especially after losing a son over 20 years ago. You can tell him she's fine but that doesn't mean he won't worry about losing her. I know we're to blame for worrying him after having been so vague but ultimately it will be better to simply tell him we're pregnant then explain to him what we're going through to get there. It's been close to three years just to get this far.
Lisa's been in bed now for the last day and will probaby stay for another. As for my part in all of this. Nothing kills the mood like having to time when you masturbate and then top it off with a special office suite just for that activity. I didn't want to touch anything in that room, starting with myself. Although 'Asian Assault' was quite good.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
668 Neighbor Of The Beast
Monday, May 29, 2006
See you at trivia.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
For One Brief Moment, It Was Glorious
Off to the Hammock District I go!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
I So Totally Want To See That!
Friday, May 26, 2006
Most of all I don't want to over tax and regulate and nanny state businesses straight out of the Commonwealth. I want to put my money where my mouth is and say windmills are good, a couple towers in the salt marshes aren't going to dry up the wetlands and it beats having the largest employer in town deciding to go to a state that doesn't care about the environmnet. The blue salamanders are never coming back and the turtles aren't endangered anymore. It's time to admit much of the EPA and the ESA is bullshit designed to keep property owners from fully utilizing their property without having the neighbors cough up the money to buy it out from under them.
I also don't care about what homosexuals do so long as the gay men don't do it in front of me and the lesbians let me watch.
You clicked on the lesbian link didn't you!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
A Moment Of Clarity
Or the government can let me drive around with no car insurance in a car with a phony inspection sticker, cause accidents and then let me skip out on paying my medical bills. That sounds like a sweet deal. I'm getting shafted for having been born here. Maybe I should go to Mexico and see if they put up with that kind of crap.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Give Me Liberty Or Nanny Me Until It's Unbearable
The idea that so many people have broken the law that it's not worth it to the government to enforce it and so we should just let all the criminals stay if they promise to not to break anymore laws. That's a great idea.
It seems to be a trend where if no one obeys the law and there's a buck to be made, Congress should just let it become all legal. It's a fine idea. More liberty for all so long as there's a tax revenue to be made.
One of the major heath reasons against marajuana has been debunked by no less than a respected authority then Scientific American. I seem to remember a highschool assembly where we were told that cigarettes had a filter and protected you from tar and that was why you shouldn't smoke pot. Or some such thing. I don't really remember, I was drunk at the time. I think lung cancer is caused by a lot more then just cigarettes. In fact, when we run out of oil I bet lung cancer rates will drop off dramatically. I'm not saying a pack a day isn't bad for you but I'm not convinced that cig's are the sole reason why there are so many lung cancer patients in the industrial world. So if there's no health reason not to smoke the wakky tobakky and the US Government is so willing to forgive criminals when there's a buck to be made why are drugs still illegal?
And how many more murders have to be committed before Congress lets us all get away with that too?
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Am I the only person who noticed that during last nights 2 hour season finale of '24' the clock showed the president and his wife getting ready to have sex at 5:58am and then at 6:00am they were putting their clothes back on. Perhaps if we had a week to forget the minor details that continuity error wouldn't have been so glairing. I'm sure when scripted they didn't think it would be a 2 hour finale.
I'm not going to watch next season. I know I say that every season. This time I mean it.
Monday, May 22, 2006
From The Salem Evening News Today
cut-n-pasted because Salem Eve News online kills stories after one day. I claim fair use.
Wild turkey population continues to grow
(single page view)
(view as multiple pages)
By Alan Burke
Get ready to scream like a maniac
The state's wild turkey population is growing, according to experts from Mass Wildlife. And yelling and throwing things is exactly what you need to do in response.
This comes even as some locals have begun to wonder if the turkey population is in decline here. West Peabody's Ann Birkner, for example, used to see so many turkeys gathering on Goodale Street that the stubborn birds stopped traffic. That isn't happening anymore
"I don't know where they are," she says. "They must have left West Peabody for a better place."
It seems more likely that they've become adapted to suburban ways, more discreet, less eager to flash those gaudy feathers at every passing car. In his travels across Danvers, Patrolman Daniel Kenneally hasn't seen an increase in turkeys — but he hasn't seen a decrease either.
"They're all over the place," he says. "It's not uncommon to see a turkey every day." Not that he's worried about it. "If you leave them alone, they're fine."
Peabody's Parks Director Dick Walker said the turkey population might be more dispersed.
"They may be getting driven from one place to another, probably by coyotes." Which is saying something because pushing turkeys around isn't an easy thing to do.
"They're pretty obstinate birds," Walker chuckles. "They're not going to get out of the way for a car."
The coyote population has increased, agrees Mariam Larson, a biologist with the Division of Fisheries and Wildlife. And that has had an impact on the turkey population. But it isn't much of an impact.
Volunteer observers across the state are telling state wildlife officials that the wild turkey population appears to be growing despite the coyotes , even in suburban areas like the North Shore.
Which is a problem, Larson said.
"We need to keep wild things wild," he said.
Free meals tossed by residents have led to turkeys losing their fear of people — a potentially dangerous situation, especially for turkeys.
But you can help, she said.
"What we are suggesting is that every now and then you should run out and scare them to death. ... Go out there and shout at them. Throw things. Run at them like a crazy maniac."
Otherwise, she worries, turkeys begin to think that people are turkeys. Then they get aggressive.
When humans approach, strutting toms want to establish right away who's boss bird, which can be painful.
"You know the term pecking order?" Larson asked. "It's literally true."
Spring is the mating season, another reason why fewer turkeys might be in evidence, she says — they're busy. But the recent cold and rain could have an impact on the population for the future because it tends to limit the number of hatched chicks.
Additionally, there is a hunting season for wild turkeys.
"And they taste great," Larson said.
When they first appeared on local streets several years ago, officials at Mass Wildlife dismissed the phenomenon as an aberration. The birds were then believed to be among a flock of wild turkeys raised in captivity and illegally released. Officials promised they would be unable to cope with the hectic pace of suburban life and all would be dead in a year.
That didn't happen.
Instead, wild turkeys, those born in the wild, have done something no one expected them to do — learned to live with and off of people.
They might be called turkeys, Larsen observes, "but wild turkeys are smart."
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Bwaaahh Haaaahh Haaaaaa
1 Price is directly influenced by demand
2 An item is only worth what someone is willing or able to pay for it
Who's going to buy all those houses when the Boomers start dieing off? Especially in those communities that are 55+ so that property tax is reduced if they don't allow children. Certainly not Gen X. There are about 10% fewer of us. To me that spells a 10% reduction in demand. I can't buy their houses from them and pay 10% more in social security taxes to support them. Perhaps they shouldn't have aborted 1/4th of my generation. There would be more sholders to support the burden.
Then again they did kill all the criminals.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
What Exactly Does "Avast" Mean Anyway?
They would be free from harassment in the US courts. There'd be nothing the RIAA could do about a satellite unless the US wanted to admit to surface to space satellite killer missiles. Consumers would have some choice and "The Man" gets it stuck to.
Fuck'em if they can't take a joke.
Friday, May 19, 2006
It Might Not Be Too Late
In other news, the countdown to our own invitro fertalization begins today. I'll let you all know how it turns out. You'll probably be able to guess one way or the other around September. If I forget to update you all, like I did with the Ben Stiller quiz.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Not So Fast
I should fill in some backstory. Lisa's 85 year old grandfather still has one apartment (besides the inlaws suite in our basement). It's a double decker on the highest crime street in Beverly. It was his mothers and when she died she left it to him and his sister evenly. Last July he put us in charge of managing his unit. It's pretty easy except it isn't. The tennent we inherited from when Lisa's greatgrandmother lived in the building and rented out the apartment is a crank. He's been there over 20 years. Last summer he left town for 2 months and his son was arrested for selling cocaine. The rent didn't get paid for three months while he was gone and the boy was in prison (parole violation). The police did a lot of damage to the doors serving the warrent. There's also some water damage from the apartment upstairs in the bathroom ceiling. The tennent is a carpenter and to help him out we gave him a break on the past due rent if he fixed the damages within the month. We had a contract written out. We went back a month later to see the progress and there was none except he bought a new door. He told us it was $300. Fine, I don't care. I asked for the reciept for the taxes and he exploded at me. Called me a liar and threw me out of the apartment. Now I love a fight so I told him we still need to talk about the rent and the work he agreed to do but didn't. Long story short, the cops were involved. The door was $180. I don't like being lied to. Things have been ugly between us ever since. He's constantly late with the rent, we have to chase him down every month. The new door sits in a box in the dining room.
This brings us up to Tuesday night. We get a call that there's no hot water. We find out that he's been at his daughters during the storm and the basement flooded. Wednesday morning we go take a look. He locked us out of his half of the basement but we get the other tennent to let us into theirs. The high water mark was about 4 inches and it had drained down to about 2 by then. We figure it will keep draining and eventually we'll be able to get the pilot light relit. We call the tennent and explain what needs to be done.
There's no real end to the story except to say don't count your chickens before they've hatched. Lisa's aunt knew about the water but didn't bother to call us for a heads up. During the storm we figured if there was a problem with the apartment we'd hear from the tennent. So now instead of enjoying the sunshine I'm stuck dealing with a cranky tennent who abandonned his apartment during the worse storm in 70 years and now want's us to jump to attention because he came home to a mess. Top it all off, the sewers one street over from the apartment exploded this morning. It's gonna be a bright bright sunshiney day.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
It's Too Bad You Can't Drink And Drive
You could do it walking but Drunk In Public is also a crime in these parts. Perhaps renting a party bus is the way to go with this game.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
One More Thing
My garden is dead.
So That's Why My Eyes Fell Out
Bausch & Lomb have announced a global recall of ReNu brand contact lens disinfectant containing 'MoistureLoc' technology. I happen to have a couple bottles sitting right here and it appears that the MoistureLoc is a solution of poloxamer, polyquaternium-10 and alexidine. Frankly I'm not so sure there's any appreciable difference between ReNu with or without MoistureLoc. It sounds to me like an excuse to change the packaging and add a buck to the price. Consumers always fall for new packaging and a longer list of ingredients. Now I'm not saying Bausch & Lomb have ripped anyone off here. I'm sure they tested the product and found it to be safe for human consumption in lab conditions. The FDA concluded that ReNu wasn't contaminated or caused the fungus problem, just contributed to the likelihood of increasing the chances of getting eyeball fungus. It's just one of those things that couldn't be anticipated or accounted for until it occurred in the field. As for Bausch & Lomb, they did what they were supposed to do. They pulled the product and have been very transparent during the investigation. There have only been about a hundred ReNu users who have contracted the fungus. It will be cheap, in corporate terms, to just settle with each individual with a valid complaint. I don't foresee any debilitating class action. Merely scaring customers is very different from actually harming them. Right now would be a great time to purchase stock in B&L. Contact lens solutions aren't their only product and the rest of the company is extremely strong. They were over $80 before the scandal broke. They're at a 40% discount today. Act now. Offers this good won't last.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Ahhh Yassah. Der's Other Ways About Learn'in Bout The Behind Feet Of The Mule Without Be'in Kicked By Em
Hand Feels Better
Cat is pissed off that there haven't been any birds for him to watch or sunny spot to lie in all week.
Dave, is there an easy way for the Macintosh to convert AVI files to be played on my DVD player? My TV set's DVD player not the SuperDrive in the PowerBook. Preferably lossless.
Two week torrent DL of Max Headroom finally ended. Got season 1 and 2!!! Yes I broke the law but fuck em if they don't want to sell it to me legally. Copyright is meant to protect the authors ability to sell their craft not hoard away things they'd like to forget about. If they're not selling it then I haven't denied them revenue.
Copyright really should be 'use it or lose it'. It should not be extended out to 100 years after the authors death so their great great grandchildren can rake American culture over the coals for one more dollar. Or for a company embarrassed by their founders racism to hide items of considerable cultural signifigance and then stand there whistling with hands in pocket.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Lucky that burn is left hand. Can still use #2 pencil since I'm a righty.
Update: The problem isn't the burns themselves, they're not that large. What really makes it hurt is they're exactly where I burned my fingers taking hot baking pans out of the dishwasher last week. The skin is dry and chapped already and the burns from the skillet are much deeper then they would have been if my hands weren't already messed up. There's no buffer between the epidermis and subdermis anymore and the burn was basically straight to the subdermis. 16 hours later and they still hurt like a bastard. I mostly can't type with two hands because I don't want burn cream all over my PowerBook not because the hand is useless. I'm sure I'll feel better later but for now It just hurts like a son of a bitch.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Ummm Yeah. We're Gonna Need You To Move Your Desk Back...
Welcome to Filler Town.
I'm busy spending this week looking for a job.
I think this is Thursdays post. Look forward to a post about either my cat or Mexicans on Friday. Whatever it ends up being, I'll post the other on Monday.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Or Wednesdays Post On Sunday. Whatever. Jesse Sucks Donkey Balls!!!
I need more speed.
Snakes On A Plane!!!! I don't even remember that picture being taken.
I Know This Is Tuesday's Post On Sunday
Give me a call.
Editors Note: The Mike that doesn't wear womens clothes. Unless "The Kurz" has some habits I don't know about.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
You Asked For It
Every time I see that picture of the woman screaming at Kent State a few things come to mind. The first is I just want to tell her to lighten up. The second one is I wonder what her major is. The third is, I wonder where that Vietnamese general with the pistol is, he's shooting the wrong hippy in the head. The fourth is, "Hey, nice camel toe." And the fith is, did they ever find that Edward Munch painting that got stolen?
I know, I'm going to hell. At least I'm not naked and on fire.
And for the record, check out Rodney Anonymous's reply to this.
Posted by Dean ASC to
Sunday, May 07, 2006
A Rich Fantasy Life
Saturday, May 06, 2006
What The Fuck?
Dave, Fuck You
Dammit, why can't I comment on your blog. I know you're reading this.
Don't make me call you a Kennedy.
And don't make me kick you in the nuts.
By The Power Of Grayskull Part 2
I am sincere when I say that although Janey amy have larger volume and Didi has muscle behind hers Lisa still has more volume and definition/muscle. I did marry all the bang for my buck.
I'm not saying that because I'm married to Lisa, it's my educated opinion. However, if I wasn't married to LIsa I'd say that the guy who came with the lesbians has the second best tits at the party.
Dave, I promise to never connect my foot to your nuts ever.
Oh yeah, I hear a Kennedy got into a car accident. I'm not the least bit s8urprised;.
Also, did I halucinate or did a really hot but slutty looking pregnant woman bring a dog to the party?
By The Power Of Grayskull
Off to do some yard work.
Friday, May 05, 2006
5 Things 4 Cinco de Mayo
Cobag is the new Snakes On A Plane. It won't be as big but it won't disappear into "You can call me Ray" style obscurity as quickly as S.O.A.P. will. Where exactly is the beef?
How come all the online lyrics websites only have Lady Miss Kir's part but not the rap lyrics Q-Tip delivers at the end for Groove Is In The Heart?
I seem to have generated controversy over the use of the word Cocksucker. I use it not to point out distaste for homosexuality. I have absolutely no problem with whatever or whomever any man or woman chooses to love so long as it's not a defenseless child. There is simply no gender neutral or masculine form of the word Cunt. Some might argue Dick is the masculine curse but clearly it doesn't carry quite the punch that Cunt does. Besides it's OK to say it on TV whereas Cunt is not. Cocksucker is the closest masculine insult and it gets the kind of rise out of men that Cunt gets out of women.
Finally, I'm thinking of renaming this site for the fourth time. I like "Dean Rules!" It's kind of an inside joke from my Penn State days and it indicates how full of myself I really am which is important to convey to outsiders. However, two individuals have recently addressed me simply as "Dean!" and I find it to be forcefull and commanding. I'll probably leave it as "Dean Rules!"
A couple is exactly four in Dean Rules! land.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
May The Schwartz Be With You
If that's true then maybe there's hope for my dream of an anamorphic Dolby 5.1 Blu-Ray with directors commentary version of The Star Wars Holiday Special. Maybe Lucas will redo a version of Episode One that doesn't suck.
One can only dream.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
This Note Is Legal Tender For All Debts, Public And Private
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Well That's Odd
The odd thing I speak of is my hit counter. Unique hits for the last six days, starting with the day before I pissed that Jesse character off. 72 (about normal, maybe low but within one standard deviation ) 529 (Thanks again, Jesse) 96 (A bit high by two standard deviations for a week day and really high for a weekend, maybe some of Jesse's readers stopped by) Then this is what gets me puzzled. Sunday I get 364 hits. Monday brings in 251 and today I get 49. I didn't post this morning so I figure those who visit me on an RSS feed stayed home. Sunday and Monday traffic is unexplainable to me. So as of this post, I have 49 for the day. Tomorrows post will be in the evening as well so maybe tomorrows number will go up from tonights post when folks get to wherever they check their readers in the morning.
PS I don't know if the guy was an asshole or being ironic but today I saw a bumpersticker that read "How many dead GI's does your gasguzzling SUV get per gallon?" It was on a Ford F-150 King Cab 4X4. My 10 year old Tacoma gets 24-26 mpg depending on what octane I burn. That 4 door pickup truck, second only to a red Porsche as a sign of midlife crisis, gets 16-18 highway MPG. It was the only bumpersticker on the truck so absent a Darwin Fish or an Eagle I can't tell if it's irony or asshattery.